In Tropica I spend a portion of each month making the rounds of the various utility companies to pay each bill in person and in cash. It’s the price of a low voltage life in paradise.
As I left the electric company and drove to telephone company, I had a dull thud revelation. I don’t need to rush anymore. I said it to myself again to make sure I understood correctly. I. Don’t. Need. To. Rush. Anymore.
Lately, fear has crept into my life. I can’t pinpoint exactly when, why, where or how. I never used to be a fearful person.
When I was younger, I’d make a plan and go for it. Move to New York and go to grad school? Yes! Quit my job and start a business? Yes! Move to a foreign country to write a novel? Yes! Marry a foreigner? Be the founder of the Merida English Library? Yes and yes!
“I determined that at sixty-five, business, properly speaking, should know me no more. On my sixty fifth birthday I woke a free man.”
–from “All Passion Spent” by Vita Sackville West
“When I retire…” We say these words all our life. We say them when we are frustrated with our job, our boss, our lack of time, not enough sleep, pining for a creative outlet. We say, “When I retire” as a threat, a promise, a dream.
Then the day comes. Whilst there are those who are thrilled, fulfilled and “ready for the next adventure,” it has become chic to squawk, “Who me? I’m never going to retire!” Insulted at the notion even.
⟡ Catch as catch can, here we are, back at the stand ⟡
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