Pajamas or Death?

I have a choice today about what I can write.  Here’s what’s going on in my life, just as similar things are going on in yours.

One of the things I’ve learned about writing a blog. People may enjoy the happy posts, but they flock to the disaster posts. Conversely, they dislike the disaster posts, because we all have enough sturm and drang in our lives and prefer a bit of divertissement. 

This weekend a friend died suddenly of a heart attack and my uncle passed after a long battle with cancer. I’ve been reading Buddhist texts and so, of course, death is the norm, not the exception. Impermanence, not permanence is what we must focus on. Death is work when we’re ready to die, and fleet speed when we’re not.

Or, I can write about pajamas, which I am obsessed with at the moment. Or the transcendent cucumber and radish tea sandwiches I made for tea on Friday afternoon. A documentary on Franca Sozzani I watched or a deep green shawl I’m knitting.

That’s the crux of life: it’s never just one thing, but all things going on at once. Death and Candy Crush. Pizza, a movie and death. The sheer absurdity of someone busy dying and another, busy living. For sure, I take copious hours out of my day and night to meditate on their lives and their presence in mine.

But then, this is my life and I better live it. Death stops for no one and nothing. There is a shift; we pause and rearrange our place in the universe to make up for the loss, to take up the space created. Then we rise and make the toast in the morning. We pour the glass of wine at night, answer the phone and shop online for pajamas.

xo Liza

Hello my lovelies. Another “day in the life.” I know that your lives are exactly this rich, painful, joyful, complicated. We’re all in this together. Please share your lives and thoughts below in the comment box, the true reason we all meet here once a week.  And if you enjoy being part of our wise, witty group of savvy, sophisticated, stylish women who are living with verve and flair, enter your email so you don’t miss a thing.


11 thoughts on “Pajamas or Death?

  1. Enjoyed your insights. An acquaintance in my senior living high rise had lung cancer and arranged legal euthanasia right before Thanksgiving. Everyone knew she planned to do this, she’d actively campaigned for the state legislation and jumped through the myriad hoops required to carry it off, we just didn’t know when she had actually arranged for the event. Someone saw the body being removed as we were setting up for our early Thanksgiving dinner for the residents. I heard she’d had her cat put down beforehand. The next day as I went by her apartment to deliver a note to a neighbor I saw her Sunday paper in front of the door. She’d forgotten to stop her newspaper delivery! I think this somehow fits in with your theme of life and death.

  2. This quote always got to me….

    Those who died yesterday had plans for this morning.
    Those who died this morning had plans for tonight.
    Don’t take life for granted.

    part of the cycle……so we must enjoy while we can, which includes buying pajamas….

  3. Your post is probably pertinent to all of us. The young Principal from my former school is too sick to return to the high school, and we who love him are waiting for word. What does one really do to support his young family over time?
    And yet, I am relishing a trip I just took and have learned to photograph, commit images to my mind’s eye and converse about the important memories and observations before they fade. Our duty is to savor the days and be in the world because the future is unknowable.
    I am sorry for your loss of your uncle and friend.
    Your valuable share is appreciated.

  4. Teddee and Anne,
    What great comments you both have. Thank you for sharing your thoughts…
    I will be thinking of this today.
    Liza, sorry about your friend and uncle.
    I enjoyed your post, and gives me much to think about including pajamas and knitting.
    Have a great day, lived to the fullest!

  5. A friend of mine whose daughter was killed in an automobile accident at age 4 once remarked to me that you absolutely cannot imagine that the world will go on without your child. You want to lie in bed until you die of hunger. But then, lo and behold, the sun comes up and your other children need to have breakfast and the mailman delivers the post and the birds continue to chirp outside your window. You continue to be amazed that this can happen but, over time, you realize that we each have a time in this life and that we need to make the most of it because, indeed, “those who died yesterday had plans for this morning”. Meanwhile, comfy pijamas definitely should be part of our plan for today.

  6. I’m sorry to hear about your two losses in the world, and so close together too. I remember after the loss of a true soul mate, it really made me assess my life, even down to what I wanted people to find in my drawers after I’m gone! My pajama drawers too. ha!
    I was going to have all kinds of things interestingly placed here and there. I swore I wouldn’t just leave old grocery lists, and boring receipts behind. But that feeling and idea soon passed and my drawers are junked up all over again. 😉

  7. Beautifully worded juxtaposition of the weirdness of it all….and I think it’s a good idea to keep death on our shoulder, so to speak…even as I fret about whether I should really buy some online clothes..

    1. Hi Carol, thanks for writing. Yes, on the shoulder, at all times. And don’t fret. Don’t fret about anything anymore. We buy the clothes. xo

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