How drag queens inspire me to be my true self


Two years ago I wrote, “Why I love drag.” It was a cheery piece and still holds true. But today I want to go deeper into my love of drag.

Drag is a  complicated, misunderstood, complex form of performance art. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, go onto youtube and watch some episodes of RuPaul’s Drag Race.)

I find drag queens to be the bravest people. They are risk takers, explorers and fantasists. They pursue a fantasy identity in a world that considers what they do to be freaky, yet watches them with delight. They are a certain identity when they are not in drag, and they become a different persona in drag. How liberating is that? Don’t we all wish we could be a different part of ourselves that we either haven’t developed, have hidden away or are afraid to show?

“We’re all born naked and the rest is drag,” says RuPaul Charles

Punk, goth, chic, preppy, sportif, conservative, masculine, feminine, sexy, trashy, classy, — we’re all walking around in our self constructed personas, i.e. drag. How we dress projects who we think we are, or who we want to be. 

Lately I’ve been looking into my closet and whilst I have collected a lot of seriously nice things over the years, there is some disconnect between much of my clothes and who I feel I am now. That’s because our identities change all the time. We are single women, career women, then young marrieds, mothers, wives, job holders, professionals, divorcees, grandmothers, retirees… our roles and identities change, hence, our clothing choices are ever changing and endless.

“When you become the image of your own imagination, it’s the most powerful thing you could ever do.” RuPaul Charles

I guess you never arrive. Oh, I’ll speak for myself:  I never seem to arrive at my ultimate look. Just like life is ever changing, throwing me new curves, I am always, sigh, a work in progress.

That’s a good thing.

xo Liza

P.S. Do you love your clothes?  Does your clothes express who you are? Are you totally connected with your clothing persona?

Hello my lovelies! Ok, holiday season is officially upon us, no turning back! Do chat with us below either about your clothes, or whatever’s on your mind about the holidays. The comments box is awaitin’ below, and I don’t need to tell you, that everyone loves to read what YOU have to say! If you enjoy being part of our wild, witty, wonderful group of savvy, sexy, stylish women, enter your email in the box above so you don’t miss a thing.


13 thoughts on “How drag queens inspire me to be my true self

  1. I had a lovely pair of clear shoes with black suede flames going up the back and a snakeskin pair that had contrasting black laces decorating the back. I lent them to a male nurse who was performing in a drag show as his alter ego. He looked fabulous and what a thrill the show was! I never got those shoes back and still think of them haha

  2. Don’t know a lot about drag but do get the connection about clothes and personal changes. As a 77 year old woman who has decided to take on a major remodeling task, I’m comfortable in jeans and sweat shirt. However, I just bought a black velvet outfit to wear on Christmas with fancy red shoes ( red and black glitter). So who am I? I think I enjoy the contrast. Casual and a bit of dress up. Walmart and Nordstrom. Tennis shoes and 3” heels. Feminin and Butch. It’s all just for fun!

  3. The worst thing that can happen to you, I think, is to feel your clothes are wearing you and not the other way around. Within the last year, I attended a way-over-the-top, hyper-elegant wedding in a fabulous hacienda. I knew my comfortable little black dresses and other equivalents were not going to be up to the occasion so I went out and bought an expensive, elaborate, actually beautiful gown. I got many compliments on it but, from the first moments of the evening, I totally felt I was impersonating some bizarre doppelganger from another planet. It ruined the evening for me and I basically refused to move from our table rather than wander around in someone else’s persona.
    On another note, I only know one drag queen personally and he/she is one of the most secure people I know as well as one of the most generous and loving.

    1. Wow Chloe, this is such an interesting story! For me, if I’m not wearing something I absolutely LOVE, then I won’t wear it. Something in you appreciated the dress as a beautiful dress, but you didn’t LOVE it personally for you. I think there is such a lesson in your story. Thanks for sharing! xo

  4. I actually got several compliments on how I looked but I still felt like I was wearing someone else’s skin. It was quite a lesson to me, a lesson I thought I had learned years ago regarding personal style, i.e. as you say, if you don’t love it, do NOT wear it.

  5. I love this! My daughter told me the other day that before she quits her job when her first baby is born, she wants to buy nice clothing pieces now and get her wardrobe perfect since her income will drop come Spring. I told her a perfect wardrobe is a household myth! I like the way you describe your relationship with your closet, and how we’re always changing. That really explains why I’m never quite satisfied with things in my wardrobe even though I too have nice things. I love drag queens and their bravery as well. I think it really inspires me to stay true to myself while also pushing the envelope once in a while.

    1. “A perfect wardrobe” sounds static and our wardrobes, as proven by this blog, are anything but static. In any case, I hope your daughter doesn’t feel like her world is coming to an end when baby is born. Tell her from me that her world is just beginning to get interesting. Congratulations to the whole family!

  6. I’m just reading this now–as I have been thinking about my “real self” and my “fantasy self.” I’m beginning to think that I let my real self take a back seat a few years ago because my work required that I be someone else (or at least I thought so). It’s surprisingly hard to reclaim who you are because you must pick through so many layers–clothes are a big part of that. I often feel I have a closet full of clothes but nothing to wear–or at least nothing that looks right in the mirror.

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