Who is your fantasy self?


I love millennials. I don’t complain about them, I learn from them.  By watching this video about decluttering your fantasy self, I learned a) that I have a fantasy self and b) that I shop for my fantasy self.

The concept of fantasy self is new for me; I never even considered it. And the minute I met and confronted my fantasy self I realized that most of my shopping mistakes (and we all make them) have to do with purchasing for my fantasy self and not my real self.

My real self lives in the tropics where the temps range from 90-100 degrees F.  Yet my closet is filled with:  sweaters, scarves, hats, gloves, boots, coats, down jackets. Okay, I do travel to cold climes and need to have a cold weather wardrobe at hand…but still.  A sweater or two, one jacket would do.  Given what my fantasy is, I am really living in the wrong place for my soul.

Of course, I have the cotton shirts and T shirts, and a collection  of bathing suits, pareos and beach coverups because I live in them. I don’t love my tropical wardrobe because it wrinkles and sops within minutes of wearing it. Maybe it’s time for fantasy self to become my real self.

My fantasy self loves statement jewelry, but my real self is a minimalist who likes the austerity of not wearing any adornment except maybe a good watch. Note to self: stop buying Lizzie Fortunato. My fantasy self loves smoky eyes but my real self loves the minimalism of the perfect red lipstick to go with my “flawless” (with the help of a K Beauty cushion) complexion. No more Sephora eye palettes for me.

The challenge is to merge your real self with your fantasy self. I know women who have done it and are living exactly the lives they want to live. They are my heroines!

My real self is a cosmopolitan woman in her 60’s who lives in the tropics. She built her own home in the jungle and eats tacos, beans and drinks cold beer. My fantasy self lives in a beautiful city flat with a lake view, wears a one of a kind, perfect chunky sweater from Holland, flies first class, stays in charming bed and breakfasts, and goes to operas, museums, and ballets, drinking the best wines and eating the nice stinky cheeses of the world.

And yet, people have fantasies about my lifestyle: the pool, the maids and gardeners, the palm trees flowing in the wind, the margaritas…

There’s a lot to say on this topic but for today, I’ll leave you with this: if you just declutter the items for your fantasy self out of your life, wow, that’s a lot of stuff you can get rid of, and then use the real stuff you need for your real life.

To be continued my lovelies!

xo Liza

P.S.  I enjoyed how detailed Allison’s fantasy selves were. So,who is your fantasy self?  C’mon, get real and tell us. We’re all sharing!

P.P.S. My fantasy self just bought three (!) cotton turtlenecks during a flash Land’s End sale. I can wear them in the tropics on chilly Christmas nights in Tulum with the cool sand between my toes, as I sip champagne, right?

Hello my lovelies!  What can your fantasy self get rid of? Let’s spill the beans and have some fun with this. The comments box is waiting below. Thanks for reading Camp Liza. If you enjoy being part of our wise, witty, stylish group of women who are “living it and loving it”…enter your email in the box above so you don’t miss a thing!










13 thoughts on “Who is your fantasy self?

  1. So true! The lure of the aspirational life has always been with me, but less so now as I winnow out the excess from my home.
    Gone are the matched sets of 18 of every size and shape of cocktail glass, for the ‘Noel Coward’ party I’ll never host! A good bottle of red and 3 dear friends is my real lifestyle.
    If only I had same resolve to clear my closet of the lovely things that require me to lose the twenty ‘one day’ pounds! 🙂
    Great article. Thanks, Liza!

    1. Hi Mary! K Beauty is short for Korean Beauty, which is the new wave hitting the stores in the U.S. and around the world. The Korean beauty industry is the most advanced and exciting thing going on right now. A cushion is a delivery device — think of a foundation or BB cream, but in a compact with a cushion, so you press the cushion and some product comes out on your fingertips. All the major mass market brands sell cushions now, such as L’Oreal, Maybelline, Revlon. You pat it on, not swipe. Oh I could go on for hours. Will write an entire post on K Beauty soon! Thanks for writing Mary!

  2. The idea of merging your fantasy self with your real self is fantastic. Maybe the key to a
    succesfull life….who knows..
    Thanks for the article. Loved it.

  3. That’s such a fun idea Liza. Fantasy Me is always busy with creative projects and has the paints, fabrics and general paraphernalia to prove it…yet the pictures remain unpainted, as Real Me is off on her travels again. I’d love to let Ms Fantasy have free rein for a while.

    1. Hi Elizabeth. Sounds like a good choice between real and fantasy you: travel vs. creativity. All that’s required, it seems, is to stay home for a few weeks and indulge in your fantasy you. When the time is right! Your situation is good, and good! Carry on!

  4. Well, Liza, my fantasy self cooks cool stuff she sees in magazines. Stuff with arugula and crispy kale and I don’t know how many other things you either can’t get here or no one but me in the family will even eat. I have the cookbooks and ripped out magazine pages and saved recipes on line to prove it. My real self has cereal and fruit for breakfast and frijol con puerco for lunch. Really, aren’t we just a tangle of contradictions?
    Amazing article!

  5. I love this article!!! I too am dealing with my fantasy self. Or in my instance, getting back to the life I led before my current real life.
    My real self is a 63 year old widow who lives with 11 huge dogs in the woods in rural Virginia. My fantasy self lives on a boat in the islands with one dog and my healthy, lean, tanned body( my actual old life). My actual home is decorated coastal with accents of dog hair and red mud.
    Whereas before I was a chef on millionaires yachts, I now cook for the dogs twice a day.
    I keep my yacht clothes packed and ready, but I live in old paint splattered jeans and moth eaten cashmere sweaters in the winter.
    I’m in the process of downsizing, simplifying, and selling off so that I an live my fantasy life one more time before I’m too old and it’s too late. I’d also like to include a handsome new captain in the fantasy…and only 2 dogs.

    1. Cindy! Make the fantasy life happen! Get thee to a marina! Downsizing and decluttering is the “camino” — the way. Thanks for writing and keep us posted!

  6. Thank you Liza! I’m just now starting to reach out there and learn more about everything you’re talking about! I never even dreamed of the concept of a “fantasy self” vs “real self”!
    But it’s so true! My fantasy self still has me living in the Foreign Service, where I was raised; balls, dinner parties, and generally dressing well! My real self is a 61 married woman living on the Oregon Coast with self employment responsibilities, family, and lots of cold and fog. I live in jeans, warm hats, Tshirts and parkas. Dressing any other way out here would have others looking at me VERY strangely! I have SOOOOO much decluttering to embark upon! I’ll keep listening! Thank you!

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