One day last week I cried so much I had to drink tall glasses of water for the rest of the day to rehydrate myself. I cried for different things that both were and weren’t happening to me. I won’t bore you with my “stuff.” I’m sure you have your own.
I invoked Tony Robbins’ “90 second rule” — but I turned it into a four hour rule, because 90 seconds seemed a little too short for me (haha). The 90 second rule is to let yourself feel your pain, sorrow, suffering for 90 seconds.
After 90 seconds you must put your suffering aside. How do you do that? You turn to gratitude. You think of all the good things in your life and what you can be grateful for.
Tony’s point is that you can’t suffer and be grateful at the same time, and that feeling grateful feels ever so much better than suffering. So you let the gratitude take up the space and shift your energy.
It worked. By indulging myself fully with my sadness, I was able to move on. Now I’m spending my time coming up with solutions for the things I was crying about.
I haven’t posted on Camp Liza in awhile because I’ve been “busy healing.” Who would have thought that healing would be so busy? I knew that physical healing would take time, lots of rest and rehab, but I was unprepared for the mental energy that was required. The mind, the heart, the soul need to catch up and heal too.
Every day someone asks me, “How are you feeling?” At first my answers related to my physical self: good, great, fine. As the days turned into weeks I was surprised that the word, “vulnerable” popped out of my mouth. Emotionally vulnerable, dependent, physically vulnerable. Unequal to the demands of daily life. I see now that as my personal strength returns, the vulnerability is slipping away.
I learned there’s a thing doctors call “soft tissue healing.” Soft tissue is everything that’s not bone. It’s flesh, fat, blood, veins, ligaments, muscles.
I’ve included in soft tissue: our emotions, our heart, our spirit. We are all soft tissue, healing, all the time. It’s a metaphor for all the wounds in our lives. Our social selves that maneuver through the world, that take the nicks and bumps required to maneuver through our days. We function, but inside, our soft tissue needs patience, understanding and more patience.
What you don’t do
Healing has taught me that what you don’t do, is just as important as what you do. Healing takes many forms. A day spent lying on the couch reading and watching Netflix is just as important as a session of fisio.
This is the word I have settled on. That’s what I want. To be fluid. To move fluidly, to live fluidly. To move from moments, to go from here to there effortlessly, without struggle and with delight.
I’ve been reading tons, and amongst the spiritual books, the mysteries, the historical fiction, I read Tony Robbins’ latest, “Unshakeable.” A few years ago I read his hefty 600 page tome, “Money, Master the Game.” It changed not only my financial life, but my emotional and spiritual outlook as well.
Realizing that many people were daunted by an 600 page book, Tony slimmed it down into “Unshakeable.” I highly recommend it. I definitely feel unshakeable. Thank you Tony!
The rainy season has begun in Tropica, my DD has moved to France and I continue healing. My summer is devoted to putting the finishing touches on an E book I want to publish in the fall. Working on my cookbook. Plotting out another book. Physio in the pool twice a day. Knitting. Reading. Baking. My wish for you, dear reader: Take good care of you. Be gentle with yourself.
So nice to be back at Camp Liza! Tell us what you’ve been up to or what you plan to be up to this summer. Let’s inspire and entertain each other with our fascinating — and even less than fascinating doings. The comments box is waiting below. And if you like being part of a witty, intelligent, life loving group of women, enter your email in the box above so you won’t miss a thing.