La jalousie

Jealousy sounds so much nicer in French, doesn’t it?  Romantic. Poetic.

In another twist, jalousie in English refers to a “blind or shutter made of angled slats.”  Go figure.

As a femme d’un certain age, I’m mortified to admit that I’m prone to occasional whiffs of jealousy envy. How embarrassing is that? It’s true that life is always like high school over and over again — same cliques, same emotions.

What do I get envious about?  Ugh, do I even go there in public? First of all, it’s not the all consuming, rage inducing jealousy of which Hollywood movies are made.  No revenge fantasies or destructive behavior. Just the mere whiff of envy.  Wisdom has taught me to examine my feelings, wish the other person well and be thrilled with my own, unique, amazing life.

My envy sometimes settles on those who don’t have to worry about taking care of themselves, both financially and companionship wise. It’s the classic “bag lady” fear, which I know affects even women of means.

Oh and speaking of bag lady.  Why is it bag lady, and never bag man? I’ve never spoken to a man who has a bag man fear. A man who has a job or a career and is successful (just like us women) never entertains a bag man fear.  What is it that makes us feel so vulnerable, possibly unable to rise to life’s demands?

Okay, back to envy.  Sometimes I get envious of social groups that I’m not a part of.  I feel like the outsider, unacceptable, lesser than.

On Camp Liza I prefer to be joyful, compassionate, inspirational. We all have enough sturm and drang in our lives.  We all have our dark moments and we can get through them. And to remind myself (and maybe you if you need it) that when we believe in our own gifts, and stop comparing ourselves to others, we are the luckiest, richest people on earth.

Go forth and be wonderful today my friends!

xo Liza

P.S.  Hope you’re doing well and enjoying your February days wherever you may be– in the cold or the sunshine, like me. We all love to hear from you, so chime in with whatever you feel like talking about. If there’s anything you’d like me to talk about on Camp Liza, please say so.

Hello my lovelies! Envy and fear.  If you’re brave enough to admit to the uglies…our compassionate ears are listening. It’s all life. Any remedies when you’re feeling “fuzzy” about things in your life?  We can all use those.   

16 thoughts on “La jalousie

  1. Liza, I believe you have articulated the fears that we (especially single ladies of a mature age) feel. Even younger women worry about similar issues. I live in Seattle, and find it is definitely hardest in our long, gray, rainy winters. Yes, some days are nice to curl up and read, but by the 30th day, a person is cranky and tired of their own company and knowing that everyone else is out having much more fun!
    Do you find it harder to want to find the fun as you get older? I have always been a very social, outgoing, where’s the action kind of gal, but I turned 65 this January, and that was a biggie for me. I guess it’s all the Medicare info that had to be addressed. Thanks for letting us know we are not the only ones…salute the sun for all of us!

    1. Hi Kate. Thanks for being the first brave soul to reply. Aging is profound and has lots of nooks and crannies to be discovered by all of us. I’m going to visit Seattle for the first time next September on my way to Alaska. Can’t wait! Carry on being your fabulous self.

  2. Liza, It was incredible to read your blog today and find out that I am not the only femme d’Un certain age that feels this way. Keep writing, I ‘m so glad to find you. You are amazing.

  3. How I enjoy my email from Camp Liza! Jelousy…yes I can relate, never thought that crap would follow me into my later years lol. Still working, cliques abound. I am alot of fun really! I’m the observer, the awkward shy gal. Envy for wives that don’t work, thank *dog* I can retire next year, I do enjoy my time alone but also love to be social with wine and nibbles. Thinking of joining the happy red hatters, do love travelling and a good hat! Want to sell and downsize so I can afford to live off my pension. Tiny winterized cottages are appealing to me, small sunny aparments, or an rv too. I envy you Liza! Off to count my blessings again…

  4. Liza,
    My friends and I have a saying – “Junior High never ends.” It’s startling how often that proves to be true! I am working on “graduating”, though. Thanks for your posting.

  5. I too can be envious of people who don’t have to worry about financial issues. Today I was thinking about my sisters, especially one who has been struggling with cancer for the past few years. Both sisters have money but I would not trade the life I have for theirs. I am healthy and in great physical (and mental?) shape. I am free to do whatever I please and that has led me to embark on a work and travel adventure for a couple of years. I am in Phoenix for the winter which is a pretty darn good place to be in February! So while I have those fears of being a bag lady, I am most grateful for the wonderful life I have and am aware of that fact on a daily basis. Cheers to being a “femme d’un certain age”!

  6. Very relateable article written in a very enjoyable style. Thanks!

    The Red Hat Society is an international group of women of a certain age who gather for fun and to support their community. They generally wear flamboyant red hats and purple attire. I think it’s something you might want to Google and possibly join. They’re a lot of fun!

  7. An article that resonated with me 100 %. Liza I love it that you remind us of envy oops jealousy, and that we as single women can always be too harsh with ourselves. The grass is not always greener on the other side is it? Do want you want to do, learn and have fun and enjoy yourself that’s what is important to me. Love your blog.

    1. Pamela, thank you ever so much for your message. It means everything to me that my blog brings some pleasure into the world. Carry on!

  8. i love it , so true can’t help it , feel the same way , un peu jalouse , merci to share , nice to be able to identify with others women

  9. Have you heard of Julia Cameron’s book, The Artist’s Way?
    It’s an inspirational read.
    She says to take ourselves on artist’s dates and when I remember to do this, I am always charmed by my own company. I look, I listen, I see and I am quite open to conversations and new ideas.
    Sometimes we are not invited because people “have” their friends and it is an effort to include others. As I write this, it seems silly.
    Also,you may be intimidating to those who are not as accomplished.

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