Do you love where you live?

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©2015 Skye McAlpine  From My Dining Table

⟡ Lucky are you who live where you love and call it home. ⟡

In the old days you were born, lived and died pretty much in the same place. Then came air travel and with it: business trips, job mobility and vacations to far flung lands.  Suddenly the whole world is your oyster.  A job transfer and you’re living in Zurich.  A passionate vacation and you’re living in Tropica.

Today we have the luxury to ask, do I like it here?  Where would I rather live?  What climate is best for me?  What geography speaks to my soul?  Many people up and change their lives, starting again in a new place, making it their own.

I have wanted nothing more than to live in the same place all my life, and become a part of the landscape and human texture of a place.  But life had other plans for me.

I was a New Yorker when I moved to Tropica for love.  I raised my children here and created a big life.  Now, kids grown and flown, I find I don’t want to be here any more.

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But I don’t belong anywhere else.

 

This is what speaks more to my heart.

Why do we find other people's laundry so charming? c2015 Skye McAlpine
Why do we find other people’s laundry so charming? ©2015 Skye McAlpine

 

We all want what we can’t have, is that it?  People dream of the tropics.  Well, for a vacation it is nice.  But for my current soul…a bit too laid back.

Have you ever considered that tropical beauty is so savage and demands so much of you, that it is…exhausting!  And then, there’s the lack of serious, (for me) western cultural life.  But I can totally understand how people come here and fall in love with this.

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Everywhere is far from somewhere else.  It is not uncommon to crave what we don’t have.  Choice is wonderful, but it is also paralyzing.  I look at Janny’s Rockie mountains and swoon.  I visit Sally in the Midi Pyrenees and sigh. Flossie’s chic and gutsy Edinburgh?  Ni hablar.  One night, walking in Tirano, I breathed the cold alpine air infused with woodsmoke and thought, this is where I belong.

This feeling of being in the wrong place, of not belonging, is a terrible place to be.

What I will do is travel and let the world talk to me.  Somewhere will tell me where I’m supposed to be.

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c2014 Amanda Brooks

 

But in the meantime, I’m living in other people’s fantasy:  Tropica!  And making the best of it.

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Do you want to be somewhere else or do you love where you live?   Where is your ideal place?

xo Liza

Hello my lovelies.  A wistful message today.  I exhaust myself with this question and wanted to put it out there for you.  I will take all advice!  Do leave your comments in the box below.  I’d love it if you like or share this post via the clever buttons below.  And if you haven’t already, enter your email so you won’t miss a thing.

14 thoughts on “Do you love where you live?

  1. I moved from Boston 26 years ago to take a new job in Maine. I did a seasonal rental on the beach the first winter to get acquainted with the area. Long story short – I fell in love with living on the water at the same time my landlord decided to sell their rental property – so here I am!! Yes, I truly love where I live!

  2. I’ve been a global vagabond for so long it’s hard to know where I belong, and now we are at a point where we need to discover where that “home” is for when I stop being perapetitic i. 5 years time. I know exactly how you feel–So many places call to me, but how to know where to be?

    1. Lisa, it will be so interesting to hear about your journey to the place where you want to live. Do share it with us. Write a guest post when the time comes! xo

  3. Hi there…I loved this post because it draws me into a conversation that is, to me, more about staking my claim to someplace in the ‘last quarter of my life’ ( phrase penned by author Ian Brown in his book “The Diary of my 61st Year).
    Your subject motifs are compelling Liza because there are many layers within. So, when I think of ‘my place’ I consider other aspects of the question: where do I want my final resting place to be, and like you, I think of my family, children and grandchildren, who are close by…does my current ‘place’ fulfill me on every level…well, frankly, no. I feel restive and sometimes anxious.
    And consider this… I am among of the very fortunate who live in Tropica in the winter and west coast Canada in the summer. Go figure…Jan

  4. Yes, I really appreciate living in this beautiful city Liza. From the minute I saw the castle perched on the extinct volcano to the magnificent architecture this city has lured me to spend 9 years longer than we had planned. Opportunities came our way to leave and I declined. This is home. I feel part of this place now, other places hold special memories and will always be part of me. Our place on the gulf to me is a luxury to dip my toe into another life, but would I live their permenantly then the answer is no. I understand your dilemna it’s difficult right now. Why not take a rental for 3 months in other places and see if it’s for you?
    I’m sure you’ll know when it’s right as they say here ‘ if it’s meant for you it won’t go by you!’
    Flossie
    xx

  5. As always, Liza, your posts make us think hard before answering, i.e. sort of rummage through the closets of our mind. Well, as you know, I am well aware of the benefits and challenges living in Tropica provides. That said, it is definitely “home” to me now. A few weeks away and I start to wonder what’s going at home and what I’m missing by being away. At the same time, I love to travel (been to 31 countries and still have several more on the bucket list). When we go to far away places, I am, however, keenly aware of the fact I’m just visiting and that “home” is waiting for us back in Tropica.

  6. I love our life here in West Hartford, CT. Our home is just the way we want it after almost 40 years..the renovations, the addition, the gardens, the memories of raising the kids. And it’s not too far from my mother and siblings in NJ, and not too far from the beach and The City. But, darn, my two daughters have lives, and good lives, in California. Fortunately they live in the same city and now with their guys and my grandson. That is their future and so we think it is ours, because, quite frankly, I didn’t have a family to NOT have a family. I want to spend time with my girls. Not all the time, because I have a life, but just the wonderful day by day moments that come up when you live near each other. We went for five weeks this summer and it was glorious. I’ll never get used to the terrain of southern Cali, but having a family again…. nothing beat that. Friday night pizza, a ballgame on Sunday, a morning at the farmers market. And I know they may move again, so for now we will continue to rent a month now and again. We are going for two weeks shortly, and then for a couple of months this winter. It is an unsettling time. I never in a million years thought I’d be contemplating a move at this point in my life, but so it may be. I can start over. It will be so worth it.

    1. My parents made one final move from Oklahoma to Illinois in their seventies to be close to me and my husband. It was a difficult decision, because they had just moved back to their home state and thought they’d be there forever. A few years later, when they started needing more help with day-to-day things, we were glad to be there for them. Then, when their health failed, it was such a blessing for me to be near, and not hundreds of miles away.

      Had they not moved, my life would have been completely different. I would most likely have needed to quit my job to devote more time to them. Both of them died of cancer, seven years apart. Just being near to make sure they are receiving the best care takes an enormous toll on family members. You have to monitor the caregivers, keep tabs on medicine, make tough decisions, and just be there. I had a newly-found appreciation for my parents’ decision to leave their home. Your being near your children will enrich their lives, and be a blessing when the time comes for them to watch over you.

  7. Yes … I love where I am at because there is enough light, few “dark” days. When I moved to the tropics it took me about 3 years to finally relax into the realization that there would be enough sun in the day so that I need not worry about getting up and out into the day to snatch the little bit of sunlight that might be coming our way. Now there is enough. Which makes me feel there is enough of anything I might need. I cannot think of living elsewhere.

  8. I read your blog and I can relate …I too live in a place where I just don’t feel I belong. I lived all my years in one corner of the USA…Tidewater…moving around to experience all the differing adjacent cities….it was home. After my husband died…kids/grandkids involved with their lives…I’m not sure WHERE I want to be. Your view seems amazing…but I guess any beautiful view is short-lived when it isn’t the right place. I’ve moved to the mountains of VA…but I’m not so sure this is THE place either. I get up every morning wishing I could sell everything…pack a suitcase and ROAM….I don’t really have the $$ for extended travel….nor would my chihuahua like it 🙁 ….but still my mind has become a NOMAD.

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