My last post hit a nerve.
It was a big surprise to me that my previous post, “Burning My Past” received so many lengthy comments and appeals via Facebook, private messages, email and in the comments section of the blog.
When I wrote it, I had pretty much decided to burn my diaries. Then the responses started coming in. Burn! Don’t burn! The arguments for each were so passionately presented. I was deeply touched and had to rethink.
I reread a diary from 2005-06. In that time period, in addition to writing about my daily life as a mother living a tropical life with two children, my marriage ended, a lifelong family friend died, then my father died, followed by the deaths of my lover, another dear friend, and my mother. I got a divorce. I commuted from Merida to Tenafly, NJ to sell and clean out my parents’ home.
So much heaviness. Too much. Did I really need to relive all of that? Did it serve a purpose? Maybe to remind me that I got through it all and still managed to feel gratitude and joy.
Your comments made me remember something I had forgotten. What makes a diary truly authentic is that it is a private document you write for yourself, not thinking of an outside or future reader. No longer will I view them as something I leave to others. My diaries serve me and when they no longer do, they will go.
My dear friend Mariana told me that making no decision, is in fact, a decision. I have decided to put the diaries back in the box and see how I feel in a few months. Temporary stay of execution.
Thank you, dear readers, for your passion!
P.S. If you have any new thoughts, or if you didn’t chime in on last week’s post, the comment box below is waiting for you.
P.P.S. Marie Kondo of a past post, “My Tidy Life” would say, toss them. She feels that, “paper never makes you happy.”
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