Survival skills for living in Yucatan
Monday fun day. Continuing on the theme of “in case you have any fantasies about my life…” Remember, the tropics are not for sissies.
To survive 110 degree weather you need lots of undies, for “the sweat dripping down the butt crack” situation
Take 4 showers a day and make friends with talcum powder
Rise early in the morning, take a siesta in the hot afternoon
Leave the scene of an accident immediately (here you are guilty until proven innocent)
Make peace with the bugs, they outnumber you
Everyone eats someone in the tropics (tarantulas eat scorpions, geckos eat mosquitos, etc.)
Scorpions like to play dead after the first blow, so bash to a dead pulp
Get used to geckos running around your house and their poop on your stuff
Street addresses are useless. No one knows street names or numbers. “Drive on the street that has the Xtabay (what’s that?) then go left at the man selling kibis (what if he’s not there that day) until you hit a tope (what’s that?) and a bit further is a house with red bougainvillea (it’s not blooming) turn left there, It’s the house with a grey thingy on the gate on the right.
When lost, use the rule of three. Ask three different people for directions. A Yuca considers it impolite to say, “I don’t know,” and will prattle the most earnest misinformation. If you get three different directions, begin again.
Worm yourself, like a dog, twice a year
Remember that “agua potable” is not agua drinkable
Expect to get only 50% of your mail, okay, make that 30%, okay, 20%
No companies whose stuff you want will ship to Mexico and if they do, the duty tax can be 100-200% of the value
Get used to men waving red flannel rags at you, they are parking “directors” and want to be tipped, although if you do what they say, you’ll end up having to call your car insurance company
If you see an imported product you want in a grocery store buy it immediately in triplicate as you will never see it again
Get used to answering the phone and having someone yell, “Who’s this?” at you
Eat dinner before you go to a Yuca dinner party where dinner is typically served at one a.m.
When burning your mouth with habanero, don’t drink water, eat bread
Just having some fun with you folks. But it’s all true. And I’m still here. To be continued!
P.S. What are the challenges of where you live?
P.P.S. To enjoy the title photo, visit Hacienda Petac.
*For those of you who aren’t familiar with the word, listicle: It’s a combination of list and article, the internet’s fave way of grabbing your attention with a short, probably useless read. Not so in my case, as I’m warning people away from the fantasies of tropical life.
Hello my lovelies! An international following is…following! Welcome to my readers in South America, Asia, Europe and Africa! Please leave your comments in the box below or tell us about yourselves. I’d love it if you would “like” or “share” this post with your friends. And if you haven’t already, add your email to the box above so you won’t miss a thing.