Stop apologizing


I'm so sorry but may I have a glass of water?
I’m so sorry but may I have a glass of water?











I’ve noticed  something that happens to women as they age.  They feel apologetic.   About everything.  The automatic attention (good and bad)  they received as  young women has gone and they feel invisible.  Insecurity creeps in.  And soon, they feel grateful for a scrap of nothing.

And come to think of it, young women are victim to this too:  Being oh so grateful.  For nothing.  For existing.  For taking up space.  For wanting:  anything.

“I’m sorry but could I have some milk for my coffee.”

“I’m sorry, may I have a glass of water?”

“I’m sorry, but could you bring me a size M, the L is too large.”

Last night at a cocktail party,  the man I was talking to called the waiter over with a gentle but authoritative gesture of his hand and said, “A vodka and tonic please.”

The tone and “please” were enough. The waiter was only too happy to oblige.

In French, I’m sorry is: Je suis desolee. How funny does that sound?  I’m desolated, could you bring me a glass of water?

What about the famous “excuse me,”  you ask?  Used only if you are interrupting someone, or clarifying something in a discussion, as if in, “I beg to differ.”  Otherwise, a big smile and a “I would like some milk for my coffee.  Thank you.”

This is about a lifetime of being a pleaser.  You know what I’m talking about.  If you’re feeling it, here’s an excerpt  from a new book by Anea Bogue about breaking the cycle of raising people pleasing daughters. And while you’re at that link, notice what a wonderful and empowering website Maria Shriver has created.

Good stuff.  And even better if you have a young girl to talk to about this. And have a good heart to heart with yourself while you’re at it.

Okay campers.  Thanks for joining me today!  Carry on!

Did this post press your buttons?  Are you a pleaser?  Are you ever so grateful all the time?  As always, the fun begins in the comments section.  Do tell us what you’re thinking.  And if you liked this post, please share it with your friends and family.  

P.S.  My computer is in the shop for my posts might be less tech dazzling  for awhile!

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